


The Boundaries Between Them

by releni



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mentions of Canonical Character Death, acwnr spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:52:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1500905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/releni/pseuds/releni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi remembers the fateful day several months ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boundaries Between Them

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on the end of A Choice With No Regrets. It takes place before the Wall Maria falls.
> 
> It's a very self-indulgent fic with personal headcanons thrown in.

Levi stretches his arms and looks to his side, eyes narrowed. He was ordered to sit in Erwin's room to work on the latest mission report. Otherwise he wouldn't finish it in timely manner, Erwin said before he closed the door and made it clear that he wouldn't let Levi leave before the report was done. Now the man himself fell asleep without finishing his own work, leaning against the back of the chair, head slightly tilted forward, front hair falling to his face.

Levi frowns. Erwin never lets his guard down around anyone, least of all Levi, always holding himself collected, seemingly unaffected by anything.

Especially back then.

“ _Levi, you come, too!”_

Levi remembers the fateful day several months ago.

Hate.

Pain.

Sorrow.

Regret.

“ _I... tried to kill you...”_

“ _I don't care about that.”_

His thirst for revenge against Erwin, his damn pride and arrogance caused people to die. Close people. Friends. Levi clenches his fists, nails digging in his palms, as he grits his teeth. Thinking about them still hurts. Thinking about himself at that time makes him angry. He knows he can't change what happened, he knows he's the only one to blame, but knowing that doesn't help to ease his guilt and pain.

“ _You still intend to fight back?”_

Levi remembers how shaken his voice sounded. Kneeling in mud, clothes dirty, shivering from the cold rain. He was looking up at Erwin, who was standing in front of him, his blond hair wet and plastered over his forehead, face calm and unreadable. Nothing indicated that mere minutes ago Levi's sword was aimed at his neck.

“ _Of course. It's a duty of those who survived. Well... will you come with me or will you run away? Decide yourself.”_

Levi loosens up his fists. The nails left angry marks on his pale skin. Decide yourself. When Erwin gave him a choice, he knew he had lost. He would be stupid if he didn't accept Erwin's offer. There was nothing waiting for him inside those Walls and after spending a month in a relatively clean place with access to food three times a day, and an acceptable tea, he didn't want to go back to the life he lived the past several years. Moreover, there was something about Erwin that he couldn't quite grasp.

“ _Until I understand what it is, I'll follow you.”_

Thanks to Erwin's words Levi realised later that if he had run away, Isabel and Farlan's death would be for nothing. He was the one who survived. It was his duty to take responsibility, to remember them and fight for them. That way their deaths wouldn't be meaningless, he would grow stronger and kill every titan that would cross his path.

For them. For himself. For the future without a cage.

He glances out of the window. It's gotten dark outside. Levi evens up his finished report and puts it to the side, closes the ink-bottle and stands up. Writing the report in Erwin's quiet office instead of a noisy common room isn't so bad after all.

Levi makes few steps to Erwin's side of the desk. Erwin fell asleep just like that. A pen he holds loosely in hand created a big splotch of ink in the lower right corner of the list on top. Levi grimaces and puts the pen away and closes the ink-bottle. After that he takes all papers and sorts them out, putting those with ink smudges aside.

Then Levi looks at Erwin's sleeping face again. It's slightly disconcerting to see Erwin lowering his guard and falling asleep with Levi still in his room. They aren't friends, they aren't even close. Levi's just one of the soldiers in Erwin's squad. He knows absolutely nothing about Erwin that isn't a common knowledge. Erwin is strong, capable, intelligent, and a good strategist. He wants to reform the Survey Corps and bring a change to this world by getting further into the titan territory, hoping to find something, anything that would help them to eradicate the titans and free the humanity. That's it. That's the whole deal. No quirks, nothing personal.

Seeing Erwin's relaxed features and a hint of a tiny smile makes Levi perplexed. Erwin always wears a calm mask, devoid of any emotions and feelings. Levi never witnessed an expression that hadn't got a hidden agenda behind it and he's not sure if he's fine with seeing a different side of Erwin. He likes the boundaries between them. A squad leader and a subordinate. Nothing more, nothing less. He doesn't need to get close to anyone. He doesn't want to create bonds with anyone. Levi only needs to follow Erwin until he finds what he's looking for.

“Oi, Erwin,” he says loudly.

Erwin stirs but doesn't open his eyes.

Levi glowers at him. “Are you that tired?” he hisses in a low voice and proceeds to kick the chair Erwin's sitting on. “Wake up!”

“What are you doing, Levi?” Erwin's voice is raspy from sleep.

“A favour.” Erwin's eyes, still clouded with sleep, meet Levi's. “Your neck will thank me tomorrow. Your back, too,” Levi adds as an afterthought. He knows very well how uncomfortable sleeping in a sitting position is.

“How long did I sleep?” Erwin asks, looking away from Levi's face, eyes scanning the top of his desk.

“No idea.”

Levi walks toward his seat and takes his report.

“It's finished,” he hands it over to Erwin, who takes it without any words and puts it on a pile with the rest of their squad's reports. “You're not checking it?” Levi asks as he glares at Erwin.

“Should I?” Erwin's right eyebrow slightly arches.

“Bastard,” Levi spits out, which only draws an amused chuckle from Erwin.

Levi scowls.

“What the hell? Did you hit your head today?”

“No,” Erwin replies, as he shifts in his chair, straightening up.

Levi narrows his eyes, trying to figure Erwin out. The truth is that Levi doesn't spend much time in Erwin's company. Most of his experience with Erwin comes from the time when both of them are on duty, when Erwin has to act as a superior officer. Erwin, unlike some other Squad or Team leaders, isn't one who goes around joking with his men. During lunch, when their squad eats together, Erwin sits at the head of the table, eating quietly, occasionally exchanging words with whoever sits closest to him.Levi doesn't remember seeing Erwin laugh or look amused.

Suddenly, Erwin stands up and walks toward the window, creating more distance between himself and Levi.

“We don't get many opportunities to talk, do we?” he asks quietly, his back to Levi.

“Is this why you made me sit here with you? Because you wanted to talk?” Levi regards him expressionlessly and then pulls out the chair again, sits down and puts his legs on the desk, crossing them at ankles.

“Levi,” Erwin starts as he turns toward Levi and looks him in his eyes. “Do you still hold a grudge against me?”

“You're still alive, aren't you?” Levi notes disinterestedly.

“That's not what I meant.”

“Erwin, what is this really about?”

“Can't you answer the question?”

Levi clicks his tongue as he puts his legs down on the floor.

“Do you _think_ I would be here if I did? Their... death was my fault,” he grits out, still maintaining eye contact. “I never blamed you.” Before Erwin can say anything else, Levi adds: “Now tell me what the hell do you want to talk about.”

“Commander Shadis is starting to think about stepping down from his position,” Erwin says, as he looks out of the window. “He's starting to doubt the purpose of the Survey Corps.”

“And?” Levi prompts him when Erwin doesn't say anything else.

“I'll be the next Commander.”

“Tell me something I don't know.” Levi glares at Erwin's back.

“I plan to make some changes and I will need your cooperation.”

Levi frowns.

“If you want me to take over your place as a Squad leader, you're wasting your time,” Levi says harshly.

“Not quite,” Erwin answers, as he starts to walk back to his chair. “People are starting to talk about you, Levi,” Erwin says, sitting down. “Everyone in the Survey Corps looks up to you, looks up to your skills, and it won't be long until all people inside the Walls know about you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You are strong, Levi. The strongest man we have. That's why,” Erwin looks him straight in the eyes, “I plan to establish a new position and I want you to take it.”

Levi knows others are talking about him, exaggerating. He sees them watching him, whispering, as he walks by them. Some are even brave enough to approach him and ask him to teach them, but he always refuses them. He isn't here to babysit anyone. He doesn't want to have a responsibility for anyone else but himself. Ever. And now Erwin wants to put him on some shining pedestal!

“Erwin,” Levi growls.

“People need to believe in something,” Erwin interrupts him briskly. “For now, they believe in you. They believe that with you on our side we can make a difference, no matter how small,” Erwin explains. “You inspire them, Levi.”

“I can do that without a fancy title, too,” Levi spats out, as he puts his palms on top of the table and stands up forcibly.

“There was a reason I took you into my squad after your second expedition outside,” Erwin says calmly. “Do you know why?”

Levi always thought that Erwin wanted to keep him close, under his watchful eye, because despite his words, he still didn't trust Levi, but maybe Levi was wrong. Maybe Erwin had other reasons, reasons Levi wasn't and still isn't aware of. Erwin always has a bigger picture in mind. There's still so much about him Levi doesn't know, doesn't understand, and he's starting to doubt he ever will.

“You are expected to work in a group, not alone,” Erwin says when Levi doesn't answer him. “That was causing problems. You think fast, Levi, you have good reflexes and you can analyse the situation faster than most people in the Survey Corps.“

Levi shifts. He knows he has problems with following orders, he knows that other Squad leaders complain about him from time to time, because he doesn't treat them with respect they think they deserve; he knows it, but he doesn't care. If his actions can save lives, it's enough for him. If he can get to a titan first, kill him first, it's enough for him.

“Those in charge don't like people like you,” Erwin continues. “They feel like their authority is being undermined. That's why I took you into my squad,” Erwin informs him, meeting his eyes. “That's why I'm keeping you by my side, because only there you can act to your full potential.”

Levi of course noticed that Erwin isn't restricting him. Erwin never calls him back, he never says anything after either. Sometimes he gives him a nod of approval, sometimes he even tells him to go, before Levi decides himself. Levi never gave it any thought before. It seemed natural.

“The new rank will give you authority,” Erwin says. “You will answer only to me,” Erwin pauses. “The choice is yours, Levi.”

He loses. Again.

“Ask me when the time comes,” he replies resignedly.

“I'll do that.” Erwin smiles. A small, honest smile that makes Levi scowl. Erwin is relaxing in his presence again. He decides, he doesn't like it. The boundaries shouldn't be crossed. Not now, not ever.

He turns around and walks swiftly toward the door. He leaves with a loud thud.

The boundaries can't be broken. And yet a crack has already appeared.

**Author's Note:**

> "I don’t care about that" isn’t a sentence from acwnr, the rest is translated from Japanese (kind of freely).


End file.
